Just be

When you live alone for a long time you start loving your loneliness, you grow to be yourself, to be honest, to look yourself in the mirror and see yourself as you are, flawed, with a lot of insecurities, full of love, passion, curiosity, and at the same time hiding it all inside.

You become an infinite universe, and at some point you don’t even know if you want to be discovered or not, because you know that what you are now is what you’ve always wanted to be: present, alive, feeling each moment as it is.

Yes, bad things happen, yes, life sometimes gives you lemons, but you take them, make a juice, or some cookies, look at their yellow colors and you are happy that life gave you at least something. There are people who receive nothing, feel nothing and have nothing.

And this state of mind of yours, this loneliness of yours is part of the equilibrium, part of accepting yourself as you are. Being like this is not easy, you always walk on a thin line, you’re on the edge of being overwhelmed by daily life or absorbing yourself in self love, egoism and lust.

Love, love yourself and love others, feel, feel the world around you, the rush, the good eyes laid on you, listen, to the sound of wind, to the sound of your heartbeat, enjoy the moment, as it is, you can lose all of this, you can forget some important parts of you, but you should never forget about you.

You are worth every minute of your life, you are beautiful the way you are, you are more than others see and you should not be afraid of showing that. Be vulnerable, be authentic, just BE.

Don’t forget, live!

15.03.2016

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Becoming the Universe

The street lights are on, you can see some random people passing, either going home or somewhere where they are expected.

I wonder sometimes, are those people happy? What are they thinking in the moments of riding the bike, are they sad, thoughtful, nervous or they are just enjoying the moment?

Will those people get where they want to, or will the stop at a crossroad and wonder where to go next.

I enjoy watching people read…you discover a totally different person depending on what the person is reading. It can be a happy person, a desperate one, or a totally mystique one.

Same thing you can say about a dancing person, so much can be understood from just the moves.

And even though our non-verbal language is yelling to us sometimes about a person’s need, we tend to not see it, we are drawn in our own thoughts, our world. We rush through life and keep on doing the same thing again and again, building habits we need and others we don’t, but we forget to be human, to let our emotions speak, let our bodies understand each other, understand energies and respond to it.

When people are in flow, with their inner self and the world around them, good things happen, not even noticing, people become the Universe.

De ce voi vota pe 30.11?

In 2009 credeam ca dreptatea e cea mai importanta valoare, invatam intr-un liceu unde democratia avea locul ei de cinste, nu exista comunitatea elevilor si comunitatea profesorilor aparte, eram toti comunitatea Gaudeamus. Simt aceasta apartenenta si acum, peste aproape 5 ani. Acolo am invatat ce inseamna spirit civic, ce inseamna o tara sanatoasa si valori integre.

In 2009 am votat, prima data, pentru o Moldova europeana, pentru libertate, pentru viitor.

Iar in 2010 am plecat, mi-am luat lumea mea mica, plina de idei, dorinta de a aduce o schimbare, de a creste si am adus-o in Romania, vecina in plina floare. Am plecat din mai multe motive, dar unul din ele a fost gustul amar lasat de toate evenimentele ce au urmat zilei de 7 aprilie 2009, zi in care tinerilor din Republica Moldova le-au fost taiate aripile. Cum e sa zbori fara aripi?

Credinta mea ca totul va fi bine si ca Moldova e pe calea cea buna au scazut an de an, nu pentru ca nu se faceau lucruri bune, nu….avem drumuri mai bune, vinuri mai cunoscute, spitale reconstruite, evenimente mai multe, oameni frumosi si dornici de a dezvolta ceva. A scazut din cauza lucrurilor vazute la televizor, citite in ziar si auzite pe drum. In pofida gustului amar lasat de toate certurile de la televizor, scandaluri si tragedii, eu voi vota pentru ca tara mea de 23 de ani a crescut.

Si ca o adevarata fata in crestere ea a trecut prin mai multe etape; etapa 2009-2012 a fost pentru ea maturizarea, trecerea aia dureroasa de la adolescentul rebel si razvratit la domnisoara eleganta si educata in stil mare. Trecerea dureroasa, cand trebuie sa-ti dai seama in ce directie s-o iei, ce parcurs al carierei vrei sa ai, ce prieteni alegi sa ramana in viata ta si de la cine iti iei ramas bun, iti alegi viitorul partener si mentor, cunosti lumea, afli mai multe si uneori gresesti in a face lucrurile corect. Dar nu pot sa nu-i remarc straiele noi, cunostintele noi si sa-mi placa directia aleasa. Ea, ca si mine, a ales sa mearga spre Vest, sa cucereasca noi culmi.

Vreau sa cred ca Moldova, ca si mine, a trecut deja prin perioada tumultoasa, iar acum, cu o saptamana inainte de alegeri, se va pune in oglinda si se va uita la ea sincer, cu desaga de valori in spate si cu toate actiunile ei explicate. Vreau sa cred ca indiferent de toti nebunii din jurul ei, cu “detochika”, “Ya tebe ne veriu” si iti promit marea si sarea ea stie clar ce vrea. Vreau sa cred ca toate eforturile depuse de tinerii cu initiative civice din oricare domeniu, fie el cultural, etnic, intelectual, au reusit sa o impresioneze mai mult decat niste praf in ochi. Vreau sa cred ca Moldova si-a invatat lectiile si e fata bravo care-i in sfarsit gata de examenul democratiei.

Ca un prieten adevarat, eu o sa-i iert Moldovei greselile fata de mine, ii voi cere si eu iertare si pe 30 noiembrie voi merge sa votez, nu pentru un partid sau altul, dar pentru ea, tanara de 23 de ani care merita o sansa, inca una, ca e mai matura 🙂

 

 

What really matters

Time will show you what really matters?

You read this quote and you ask yourself, have you found out already what matters to you? Do you really know where you are going and how you are going to work?

Because life gives you so many opportunities, and so many colors for your painting that sometimes you are loosing yourself in all that, you chose a easier way, or a more colorful one. But time, time gives you the wisdom, the understanding of your values and the things that matter to you.

It matters when you have where to come back after you go away, you have someone to tell that you love them, you have a meaning, a purpose in you life. It matters when you appreciate your work and other’s as well. It matters when you are the one building your life, hard, with lots of challenges, but in the end you feel fulfilled.

It matters when you take some responsibility for the things happening around you and even get involved in the change.

When you have friends whom you can call whenever you want, you can read a book and enjoy it, you can see the beautiful weather outside.

We grow up and we forget the things that mattered when we are little, but those are the real generators of happiness. I’ll write here what made me happy when I was little:being able to read a book full of adventures, taking a walk in the woods with my family, riding a bike around the village I lived in, taking photos, being able to taste all the good fruits, Easter, having my grandfather to tell stories about his WW II childhood(funny one’s), painting, learning a new language, and discovering the stories of the people around me, my friends, best friends.

What matters to you, dear reader? What makes you happy?

Follow your dreams

Your body communicates with you, because you are your body and all the experiences you have can be understood through your health history.

During your lifetime you choose a path, you always have to choose. And everytime you ask yourself if it is the right decision.

We start when we are little, when parents ask us what do we want to eat, to read, to dress with. After a certain age decisions become more hard to take, what school to attend, what major to choose, with whom to be friends and what activities to have besides school.

And everytime we ask ourselves, “is it what I really want, is it the right thing to do?”.

The past years, since a friend of mine told me that your body communicates with you through your diseases and pains I started to be more careful to how I feel after certain actions of mine and indeed, when I did something not good for me I was instantly becoming more ill.

I had 2 surgical interventions, both of them because of my lack of expressing what I feel and stress.

I was harming myself by falling down, bruising myself, not intentionally when I took some bad decisions(I was thinking they are good, my subcounscius didn’t).

For 3 weeks now I had to take a decision, a big important one for me. It was about following my dream on an uncertain path or chosing to grow my experience and change some important aspects of my life, but more certain and less risky.

I had 3 weeks of pains, fatigue and storm in my mind and when I finally took the decision all got into its places. There was no headache, no backpains or so on.

I chose to follow my dream, to try, to go back  to where I started some time ago and pursue it.

And it feels great, like there are no limits!

Grateful to my body and the people around me 🙂

de ce n-am scris?

Am cateva luni bune de cand n-am scris si ma gandesc de ce n-am facut-o?

Nu e pentru ca n-as avea despre ce sa scriu, sau ca nu-mi mai place, pur si simplu obiceiul asta s-a dus.

Si scriam des, aveam un caietel si scriam despre mine, despre ce simt. O perioada n-am mai scris despre lumea vzuta cu ochii mei. Poate toata rutina mi-a pus o panza pe ochi si vedeam doar alb-negru-gri. Vedeam ceea ce vad toti si ma conformam cu parerile universale, m-a prins valul.

A fost un moment in care m-am trezit, m-am analizat dintr-o parte si nu m-am mai recunoscut..si nu e de la maturizarea, arhicunoscut dezvoltare sau ceva de genul, doar ca in goana dupa multe chestii pe care mi le-as fi dorit realizate am tot imprumutat trasaturi bune/rele de la oameni, le-am pus in punguta mea si asa a aparut o noua versiune a mea, de care nu-s mandra, dar pe care n-am cum s-o reneg.

A fost acolo, este si acum, doar ca eu am ales s-o perfectionez. Am ales sa vad lumea asa cum o vad eu, fara influente, da, ascult parerea oamenilor, dar accept doar acele pareri care sunt pline de iubire, dorinta pasiune. Neg gandurile proaste, neg ce inseamna energie disruptiva.

As face o analogie cu filmele marca Harry Potter. Majoritatea fanilor vor fi de acord ca primele filme au fost ok, dupa care 3 din ele au fost pur si simplu dezastroase. Si ultimul a fost mai ok. Este vorba despre viziunea regizorului asupra filmului si cum e de acord el sa-l faca. Este vorba de cum la un moment dat sau altul alegi sa-ti orchestrezi viata, ai un moment mai prost si iti iese un thriller intunecat si incurcat…iar momentele fericite iti fac o comedie romantica 🙂

Viata-i un film, care trebuie rulat de la inceput pana la sfarsit, cu rabdare si cu o mare curiozitate

Stronger than ever

It’s hard and challenging, it’s fun and yet overwhelming, it is interesting, full of adventures even if you feel tired. The mixed feelings when you do your best, you try harder and you succeed, because there are no other options. You fail, and your failures are the best lessons in the world. But you grow, and by growing I mean that you learn through all the experience you get and this is the best feeling ever.

Because you do everything with passion. And passion is a word that needs to be understood by more people. Passion is when you’re battery is low and you find strength to smile and do the work you need to do, passion is when you are looking for different solutions to one single question. Passion is when you give yourself 100% and you feel that everything around you responds with a good vibe.

I like to see how people grow, I like helping them grow, because every single person that I’ve met in my life had a story and a strength. I like to see them develop it and if I have luck to help them see it I feel happy.

I am thankful to people that saw my strength and gave me the benefit of a doubt, helped me, I am thankful to the patience with which they worked with me. Give people credit, believe in them and help them see the best in them and you’ll have the pleasure to learn from them. Ask people what are their values, why they live on earth and this will make them think and maybe see the world from another point of view. And have patience. The sun comes out only after a dark night.

And a question: What passion of yours would you develop if given all the money you need(photography, arts, mechanics, etc)?

I am still thinking